Reflections

The Last Cry. MS/2019/13

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The Last Cry as my personal experience presupposes the numerous hurts I have born with heavy hearts in the past. I was told that I cried at the hands of the midwife when I was born at the village health center. But that cry was solely mine. While I cried, those around me celebrated my birth in grand style. The reason is not far fetched. My parents had three female children before my birth and ernestly desired a male child. So the cry of a baby boy really put smiles on the face of every member of the family.

However, there were other personal experiences that I actually grieved with tears. https//www.mustardstories.com/2018/10/30/the-human-tears-ms-2018-24/                     I remember an event that happened when I was in elementary four in the only Primary School in my village. I was beaten by one of the pupils in elementary six. I cried bitterly for the injustice, expressing my protest and need for adult intervention.

As expected, my cry immediately attracted a class teacher who judged in my favour and condemned the bully. I was placated and filled with unimaginable sense of victory. My pain was so quickly forgotten.

In the same manner, I can also recall some past experiences that really got me sad and broken. My cry at this very moment is, however different from all these. Its uniqueness lies in my conviction that it is the very last in my life.

Although nobody has summoned the courage to talk to me directly about the end, many things seem to point to this truth. More by intuition than with logic, I perceive my end and also my helplessness. I see my death but I cannot avoid it. My life is gradually ebbing out and yet the medical diagnosis is not showing the cause. Even where the sickness is known, the cure is either unknown or inaccessible.

So I cry for this bad news that is mine, that my death is not just certain but imminient. And worst still, that I did not prepare for this inevitable transformation that awaits all mortals. My last cry is, therefore, for the persons and things I have to let go. I grieve that I have to die at a time I did not expect and in a circumstance I would never have chosen. If God can answer me only this two prayers, I will be consoled a great deal.

I wish that my last cry be heard by all who presume that they will die at their choice time and circumstance.

I pray that my last cry like that of Jesus Christ ( Mtt.27:46-50) be of self commendation to God rather than hopelessness.

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